Lack of Focus Makes You a Worse Parent
Lack of Focus Makes You a Worse Parent
As you know I’ve never been a parent but my mom often complained about how she always had too much to do and not enough hours in the day to do it.
What this really boils down to is priorities and managing your self. Because we each have equal amount of hours in the day, 24 to be exact, and some people have their stuff together and are way more successful than others.
This is because of the way they choose to spend their time and the activities they choose to do with the time available to them.
This concept applies about parents as well as in business. I’m going to give you an example from a local business meet up group I organized and am the leader of.
During this meeting I was talking with the group members and something jumped out at me.
One of the ladies in the group made a comment about how it was hard for her to focus because she’s working at an apartment locating service, was looking into being an insurance adjuster, and wanted to also build her blog.
Her basic problem was spending quite a bit of time doing the apartment locating and getting frustrated because she didn’t have enough time left over to build her website business…which is her asset and ultimate dream.
I’ve had this problem at many points in my life.
I like to start out projects but don’t enjoy the details or the completion. I like the idea generation phase in getting things going then moving on to the next.
I’ve studied quite a lot of Eben Pagan and Frank Kern materials as well as some other very prominent and successful business people because I feel productivity tactics which work in business can be applied to your parenting.
The systems have crossover relevance to working for you as a parent.
So I decided to put some of these practices and advice into play in my own day. And got some very good results.
Here are some of the basic things I do:
I do writing blog posts and e-mails for about an hour in the mornings
I turn off my phone ringer except from 12p-1p, and from 4p- 6p
I also keep Skype and Twirl (the Twitter desktop client application) closed except during my phone times
I write out 3 or 4 main activities I’m going to accomplish that day and then I block out an hour to two to accomplish each one of them
I’ve found myself being way more productive after cutting out the clutter, eliminating as much as possible the phone interruptions and in-person pop ins, and drastically reducing aimless web surfing and having multiple programs open.
When it’s writing time all I have open is my wordpad program and I begin to write.
You have to be fairly strict. When the time block you have set aside for each activity has been reached you have to save the work you’ve done or set it down and move onto the next activity.
I know this can be difficult for you as a parent because when I want attention or something from my parent I want it now.
Being a parent you have two parts to your basic day. Your workday and your home day. Your home day is defined as your time at home with family during nonworking hours.
Obviously, you can apply these tactics to be more productive in your job and hopefully get more commendations and raises because of the increases in your production. Most smart businesses will reward you with higher compensation when you produce more profits for them.
However, since this is a parenting help tips blog I want to give you some specific tactics for how to apply this for the home part of your day.
You probably already have some sort of schedule in place for when your kids get home.
For example, your child gets home from school off the bus at 4 p.m.
From 4 – 4:30 p.m. you allow them to just kind of veg out and get a snack and unwind from the school day.
Maybe 4:30 – 5 p.m. you allow them to watch their favorite TV show.
Then from 5 p.m. – 7 p.m. (or as long as it takes) is time for them to do their homework.
Then hopefully, you have family dinner from roughly 7 p.m. to 8 p.m.
Then up until about 10 p.m. you allow them free time to spend as they please. During this time you get to watch your show, do any Housework you’re looking to do, or other social activities you have.
Of course you’ll have to monitor your kid to make sure they’re doing the appropriate activities. I give you full permission to use this schedule and/or base your schedule upon this.
One thing you can definitely do in this 8 – 10 p.m. time slot is have a priority list of things you want to do and focus on getting them done. If it’s a very busy 2 hour period, just let the phone go to voicemail and don’t even worry about your e-mails.
I understand sometimes your kid will get hurt or a crisis will come up which you have to deal with and takes you off schedule.
This isn’t a hard and fast system which should be very rigid. You should allow a plan for some flexibility because that’s going to maximize your effectiveness using your time as a parent.
The simple fact you have a plan in place and a schedule will instantly make you more effective when you start to implement it because you’ll get better at implementing it and more efficient as time goes on.
Like any kind of exercise when you work a muscle you get better at it. This is the same with managing your time.
When you first start your time management muscle is going to be out of shape and difficult. But after you’ve gone along on a consistent everyday pace you’ll get better and better at it and find you’re getting more stuff done than you ever thought possible.
So I recommend putting this type of laser focus into practice in your parenting role and also teaching your kids this system because it will greatly benefit them. Since you’re getting more done you’ll be much happier and more relaxed.
And this will lead to a better relationship with your children because you’re a more effective parent.
I always loved being around my mom more when she was calm and not all hyper from being stressed out.
Leave your comments about your parenting system and what kind of tactics have worked well for you to get stuff done even when your kids are in the house. The techniques I’ve outlined are working very well for me and the concepts behind them are sound and proven to work.
I’m always open to enhancements in my routine so I look forward to hearing from you.