Married Single Mother, Really?

Married Single Mother, Really?

I recently read an article about a formerly married single mom. In the article, the mother basically stated it was better to be divorced than in a relationship where the father didn’t pull his own weight. She said, “to hell with religious beliefs, to hell with what your friends and family think – men need to step up or get the hell out, and if not then get rid of them. Why? Because being a single mother is far better than being a miserably married mother. And your children need to see you happy, both of you happy.”

I guess we can just throw accountability and responsibility out the window with the husband! Most men are not wolves in sheep’s clothing. They really aren’t complicated creatures; that title is reserved for most of us. I “knew” who my husband was when I married him. Granted, like most women, I thought I could change him. So, don’t blame the husband because you took a gamble and lost the bet. Men do change, it might just take a little longer than you expected. Eternity is definitely an option.

Which brings me to my second point … expectations. I don’t think many couples discuss their everyday expectations before they get married. Especially the expectation of my husband being able to read my mind, my moods, and my body language. I think he missed that class between Home Ec and Wood-shop. Just in case there is any confusion, let me reiterate; Men do NOT have mental telepathy. If you want them to know something, you do have to communicate in a language that they understand. Preferably, body language, if you get my drift.

Last but surely not least, decide who is going to wear the pants before you buy them. Most women have to try on 50 different pair before they can find the right fit. Don’t expect your husband to tell you that your butt looks good when you put on his pants instead of your own.

I definitely don’t recall becoming an expert on parenting at the moment any of my children were conceived. Parenting is a life long process and so is marriage. Yes, I have felt sad, lonely, neglected, and under-appreciated in my marriage. That’s life in general. I can daresay that my husband has felt the same way, even though I would like to believe he is devoid of all emotions.

I don’t believe in double standards. Women should also “shape up or ship out”. Take responsibility for your own choices, mistakes, and emotions. And for goodness’ sake, stop reading all those romance novels. Husbands can’t live up to those standards. Just like I can’t live up to the Pl*yb*y magazine.

Women claim to be smarter creatures, so then improvise. If your marriage isn’t working, there are a plethora of options available. There is the counseling option, praying option, Lorraine Bobbit option and if all else fails, divorce option. Just keep in mind, you also had the option not to get married in the first place; shotgun weddings haven’t been reported for some time.

Author: Gabriella Parker

Share This Post On