When 1 Parent Overshadows Another – Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman

When 1 Parent Overshadows Another – Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman

Parenting Help Parenting Help Tips Parenting Tips   This can be a big problem. Jealousy in a marriage is a huge problem and can manifest in many different areas including socially, mom or dad favoritism with the kids, and especially professionally or financially where one partner makes way more than the other.

Sometimes it can be very subtle where the lower partner feels less appreciated and successful.

Other times it’s completely overt where the higher achieving spouse lords it over the head of the other and uses it as a weapon or tool compelling the other spouse to do things outside of what they might want to do.

I was reading this fascinating story about Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman’s divorce the other day and it got me to thinking.

Parenting Help Parenting Help Tips Parenting Tips   There’s been some speculation that professional envy or jealousy was a big cause of the marital problems Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman had…even being a contributing factor leading to their eventual breakup and divorce.

I don’t know for sure whether this was a cause of their divorce nor does anyone else. Only Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman know the answer to why their marriage ended.

But there was a time in the mid-90s where Tom’s career seemed to be headed into the stratosphere and he was making big-budget movies while she was getting good parts but not near the publicity nor the money.

In what maybe a very coincidence where art imitates life, they did a very fascinating movie together called Eyes Wide Shut.

The movie Eyes Wide Shut puts a magnifying glass on jealousy in marriage. It’s definitely an R-rated movie and very weird and out there.

But I highly recommend it because it’s entertaining and it teaches you about trust issues and jealousy in marriage. Spoiler alert there is nudity and some weird parties so if you’re offended by these things take that into account before deciding whether to watch it.

Bottom line is there’s always going to be inequities in any marriage. That’s one of the biggest benefits and reasons to get married because you bring on a partner to complement your skills, do things you can’t or don’t want to do, and take on tasks and roles you don’t have the time to do.

So the biggest thing is to know this upfront, communicate your expectations beforehand, and know you’re probably going to have to deal with some flareups as they occur from time to time.

A big key is to take a step back when you’re in a highly emotional or highly angry state. Almost nothing good is ever said when you’re in this extremely rageful or resentful emotional state.

Set the main parameters for your marriage upfront before you get married. If you’re already married have a once a week chat with your spouse and ask them this question which I learned from Jack Canfield’s book The Success Principles

“On a scale of one to 10 how would you rate our relationship this week?”

Then just let your spouse talk and talk until they’re done. They give you anything less than a 10 ask this follow-up question…

“What would it take (or what do I have to do) to make it a 10?”

Once again just let them talk and really listen so you can put into action and do the things they’re telling you they want you to do so your marriage will be stronger and better than ever.

Make your comments on some of the tactics which of work to improve your marriage. I’ll look forward to our lively discussion.

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Author: Billy the kid

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