Stop Your Kids Fighting Before It Drives You Insane

Stop Your Kids Fighting Before It Drives You Insane

Parenting Help Parenting Tips   photo credit: democlez

Parenting Help Parenting Tips   Every Mom knows the sound. It pierces straight to the brain like a rail road spike.

MOOOOM! Jimmy keeps touching my stuff. (spoken in the most whiniest voice ever).

Yeah but, Sally took my game! (responds the even whinnier Jimmy).

Of course you love your kids, but thoughts of life pre-children flood your mind. If only they could get along for 5-minutes.

Sibling Rivalry is the number one complaint of parents everywhere.

I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but I can give a few suggestions and lessens I learned from my mother. It still amazes me how she was able to keep all seven of us from killing each other. The woman is a Saint.

The Certainty of Consequences:

We were never quite certain what the consequence would be, but we always knew it was coming. Sometimes we tried whispering our “Nah-Ahh’s” and “Uah-hah’s”, but our whisper arguments soon got louder and louder until the wrath of Mom came hammering down.

Consistent consequences will help to lessen the number and frequency of occurrences.

Divide and Conquer

For some kids, there is only one thing worse than an annoying sibling…. boredom.

If we couldn’t play nice … we couldn’t play together.

Banishment to one of the most boring places in the house.

One of us might be sentenced to the laundry room and the other to a bathroom. Without toys or TV …. left only with our thoughts.

It didn’t take long before we were ready to “forgive and forget” and earn our way back to civilized society.

Suffer or Sort-it-Out

The reverse version of Divide and Conquer was the Suffer or Sort-it-Out. Mom would threaten to tie our pigtails together and force us to be together forever. Of course that would be a bit extreme, but she did banish us both to one of the “boring” rooms for 15-minutes. During that time we were given the task of coming up with a solution to our problem or remaining in the room for an extra 15 minutes. Most of the time our solution was to avoid each other for the rest of the day.

No Name Calling Allowed…. EVER

Words like stupid, fat, ugly or dork were never allowed… period! We were not allowed to belittle each other at any time. We were family. On the occasion that one of us slipped-up and resorted to name calling, the battle was over… we had lost. The consequences would befall us alone.

My Space Your Space

Let’s face it we all need space. Teen-age girls need EXTRA space. We learned to respect each other’s space. No entering a siblings room without knocking. First come, first serve for the TV, game system or whatever but with time-limits to allow for sharing. We were encouraged to share but never to take something that didn’t belong to us without asking. Most sibling arguments start with a dispute over stuff. If you can get your kids to honor these boundaries, most of the fights will stop.


Sometimes, there is an underlying cause. Lack of sleep, hormones, or hurt feelings are common causes of fighting. Many times it can be something that happened at school or among friends. Your child could be taking his/her frustrations out on a sibling.

Mom had a knack for getting the truth out of us simply by talking to us quietly. We loved getting her attention and would open-up to her. She spoke so calmly that we couldn’t help but calm down ourselves.

You will need to be diligent and consistent for any of these suggestions to work, but hang in there … it will get better and there will be times when your kids actually seem to enjoy each other.

Author: ParentingMaven

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