When Should I Allow My Kid to Start Dating?

When Should I Allow My Kid to Start Dating?

Funny Parenting Stories Parenting Help Parenting Help Tips Parenting Humor Parenting Teens Parenting Tips Teen Parenting Teenage Parenting   My 11 year old daughter doesn’t know this yet, but she will not be allowed to date until the United States government says I no longer have the lawful right to control her every breath. (Which is usually around 18.) By then , I hope to have brainwashed her into thinking she has to obey my every command until death do us part. For the rest of you sane parents, the following advice should be helpful:

1. Reach way back and clean out the cobwebs of your youthful memory and reminisce about the kinds of activities you participated in when you were dating as a young and stupid teen. Whatever things you experienced, multiply by 10, and that is what your kid will be doing on their dates.

2. Whatever you may think, you do NOT know your child. If you think you do, YOU have been brainwashed and need to seek intervention as soon as you finish reading this post. Children will inevitably do the opposite of what their parents think they will do.

3. Repeat after me, “trust” is an archaic and barbaric word. If you use the word trust and child in the same sentence, go wash your mouth out with soap immediately. Trust is at the root of all evil in the world.

If after reading through the preceeding rules you still think that you may want your teenager to date at some point in their lives, I have the number to my therapist on speed dial and don’t mind sharing. Help is just a phone call away.

Author: Gabriella Parker

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